I Quit Sugar Week 3 : Breaking Up with Sugar
I’m terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter. Our relationship has run its course. Don’t let it get you all upset inside; we are just not a good match.
Thanks for the years of happiness you gave me. We had a great run together, didn’t we? The birthday cakes, the Halloween candy, the chocolates on Valentines from my childhood–all happy memories. When I grew older and moved to Paris, you beckoned from pastries made by masters of sugar and deliciousness. I had a sugary snack almost every afternoon in Paris since nothing else was open other than bakeries between lunch and dinner. In Paris, you were beautiful, lit up like a jewel behind glass windows.
But it’s not working anymore for me. I expect too much of you. I’m depending too much on you to cheer me up when I’m sad or blue or just down. In these past two weeks when I’ve tried living my life without you, it’s been hard. And those times when I invited you back into my life, you still have a way of touching me deeply in my sweet spot.
But I need to outgrow you: for all the highs we have together, you also give me the lows. I always have to run back into your arms again to feel back on top. I depend on you to make me happy, and I need to find out how to do that for myself. Before I tried taking a break with you, I wouldn’t be able to walk by the chocolate aisle in the grocery store without picking you up so that you–my secret weapons–will be waiting in my bag no matter what else happens for the day. (Yes, I love you most when you’re combined with dark chocolate.)
Frankly, even though emotionally you make me feel great, you don’t do much for me physically. You turn immediately into stored fat. You’re chemically addictive. I don’t want to go down the list again of why you’re no good for me, even though the last time I forgot one more evil thing about you: the history of your cultivation goes hand in hand with the story of the evils of colonialism.
Look, I’m not saying that I want to break up with you forever. It’s not like I’ve been cheating on you or want to replace you with anyone. I don’t want to have a chemical relationship with any other substance, even though caffeine could rival your importance in my life. After the next six weeks, I’m pretty sure I want you back in my life again though probably not as my bestie like you are now. I just need a complete break to break my dependence on you so that I can be in control of my life again.
After our six weeks’ separation, I’d like to be in control. I’d like to moderate the highs and lows you give me. I’d like to feel my down feelings rather than smother them with your sweetness. Before I used to think that you were a treat for myself, as a way of taking care of and treating myself. But I see you now for what you are: you make things better like a shiny bow wrapped around a trash pile, but you don’t address the underlying problems. When I’m tired I will just take a nap. When I’m blue I will talk to a friend about it rather than turning to you.
I know that it’s going to be hard not turning to you in the next six weeks, but I’m doing this for myself—so that I can be free and autonomous, fully in control of my own body and mind. It would be great if you understood, sugar, that it’s not you; it’s me. Really.
PS: Sugar honey, give me back my keys. I’m sure we’ll see each other again, if you’re ok with it, but I have to be the one who decides when and where and how.
PPS: In case you’re new around here, I quit sugar two weeks ago.
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Photo from buzzfeed